Joe Nester – Story Of An Addict

I know it broke your heart the day I started using drugs
I’m sorry that your love for me was never quite enough
I’m sorry that I ran away when things were getting tough but
Let me clarify this for the ones who feel the need to judge

You ever love something so much you gotta have it
So you use it every day until you start to form a habit
Then before you knew what happened you were suddenly an addict
That just wasted half their life and every dream they had was shattered

And now you’re feeling hopeless and you’re broken and you’re battered
Cause the dope that you’ve been chasing is the only thing that mattered
You’ve tried to break the cycle and you’ve tried to break the pattern
But the hole you dug yourself is way too deep without a ladder

And I wish that I could take it back, wish that I could take the pain
Wish that I could get on track, wish I wasn’t so ashamed
Need to just accept the fact that I’m the only one to blame
And straighten up my act so I can go ahead and make a change

I’m sorry that I let you down
I’m sorry you don’t understand
Even if I never make it out
I’ll love you to the very end

Well I just checked into this treatment
And I’m hoping deep inside that I last longer than the weekend
It’s usually the time it takes for me to wanna leave
And every fiber of my being says to play with all my demons

So give me something different, give me something to believe in
I’ve surrendered and accepted, I’m defeated and I’m beaten
But no one ever told me it’s the secrets I’ve been keeping
As I sit alone and isolate, I barely speak at meetings

Cause my heart is full of hurt and hate, how could anyone relate
No one really cares about me, I should go and hibernate
Somewhere by myself where I can constantly replay the tape
Of how I messed it up again and now it’s probably way too late

I have a therapist that says I need to open up
But really I’m embarrassed so I tell them that they know enough
Until I get the strength to share, I’ll just keep showing up
And praying that I change, I guess it’s all a part of growing up

I’m sorry that I let you down
I’m sorry you don’t understand
Even if I never make it out
I love you to the very end

But now the days are passing by and I’m still going strong
And it’s been years since I got high, I guess I’m moving on
I finally got it right but not before I got it wrong
I wish the same for all my friends but most of them are dead and gone

I have a family now and even got a couple kids
But I don’t hide my past or all the crazy things I did
I share it openly and try to raise awareness
On the dangers of addiction when you’re young and you are careless

Cause it could be your family, be your friends or be the rest of them
It could be a stranger passing by you see as just a bum
But if it happens don’t you dare think any less of them
I’m here to let you know sometimes it happens to the best of them

Yeah I’m here to let you know sometimes it happens to the best of them
So if it happens don’t you dare think any less of them
I’m here to let you know sometimes it happens to the best of them
I’m sorry that I let you down

But I’m hoping now you understand
Even if I never make it out